It's been too long...

It's been too long since I've added anything on here, and quite frankly I had to stop and ask why?
Is it because "Blogging" isn't really the thing anyone really does anymore? Is it because I feel unworthy to write anything about myself or my journey? Or is it just sheer laziness/forgetfulness?
YES TO ALL OF IT!!! Ok, now that all of that is out of the way...
I am entering into my 12year here at the Mission...can you even believe it 12 years!
It's been a crazy yet wonderful 12 years of growing and learning...and more growing and more learning. I have many prayers answered, seen many of our friends here pass away and many, move forward and onward in their lives.
I have witnessed lives changed by the power of Christ and many reject what He has to offer, only to die lonely, in their addictions, on the streets...it still breaks my heart.
Some would ask...WHY? Why would someone choose to live a life full of pain, suffering, and addiction over a life of peace, healing and hope? Because as addicts we only see hopelessness...period. The cure for our pain and suffering is more dope! More booze! More sex...MORE, MORE, MORE. Which really leaves us with nothing. I know, crazy right?
So back to why we'd choose a life of debauchery over anything else. Because when you find something that "works" then you kinda just want to stick with it. EVEN if the thing that "works" really doesn't work, never has and never will. Now onto other things...I have never liked the term "Disease" to explain addictions. Since it is literally the ONLY DISEASE WITH A CURE...STOP USING/DRINKING/DOING... I also dislike the term "it's a choice" now you are going to have to trust me when I tell you, NO ONE wakes up and decides they are going to be an addict. Remember when we did those test's in school to see what career we are best suited for? Addict wasn't on there. "Your scores are in and Andrea your talents and skillsets point towards a life of addictions, failures and complete misery! Congratulations!
However, this is what I have come to understand "The consequences that led me to a life of addiction were out of my control. BUT the Choices I made because of those consequences...are all on me." I chose to say enough is enough. I  don't want to feel like crap anymore therefore I will drink myself into oblivion and take pills to try and numb the pain. And sleep with as many men as I can to try and fill the emptiness I feel inside, due to the booze and drugs. It's pretty f&^* up right?
Well nothing about addiction makes any sense at all so...
However, I do believe that my past "extra curricular activities" is exactly why God has called me here to the mission, to walk alongside those still lost in their addictions and feelings of hopelessness.
Who better than one who has "been there...done that" It's actually one of my most favorite things about Gods character. He uses people like me to reach others. He could literally use anyone else...but he chose me. And not only do I get to enter into and journey alongside them at this point in their lives. I also get to train others on how to effectively do the same. And the most profound thing I have learned over the past 12 years is this...God's goodness and grace outweighs ALL of our bullshit. And I have come to terms with being "Perfectly, Imperfect" Because it's in my imperfections that I am able to reach others who are also Perfectly Imperfect.

1Corinthians 10:13-14
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

With the power outage this past weekend (that lasted longer for some us than others)
I found myself feeling...Inconvenienced, which is a really selfish and childish way to feel considering the circumstance I was in. I was just without power, while others were without cars, homes, food so on and so forth. while I was feeling inconvenienced I took a moment to just quiet myself long enough to listen to what the spirit had to say to me. I felt that I needed to reach out to my little sister in Mission which as I understood it was only without hot water. But in actuality was in the same boat as I was in. except she didn't have a mode of transportation to get around with. So I sent her a text and told her I was coming to gather her up and we'd go out and search for someplace that was open and maybe get lucky enough to get a bite to eat.

As I got into my car still feeling sorry for myself ( I can throw quite the pity party when I want too) I began the "extra" long drive to Mission City. What usually takes me 30mins turned into around an hour. And as I drove along the roads I usually drive in awe and wonder at the beauty of all the trees...those very same massive trees had fallen onto people's homes and cars. trees that had been standing for 50-60 years could not withstand the drought we had been in then the brutal winds that taken them down.
I instantly turned my poor me attitude into one of prayers and thanksgiving.
I gave thanks to God for keeping my car that sits under a row of massive trees just like the ones I was now seeing trough peoples homes. I then gave thanks to him for keeping my home safe. And I thanked him for keeping me and my loved ones safe.
I then began to pray for those who had lost so much. I began to give thanks for the very same people I was so pissed at for "NOT GETTING MY POWER UP AND RUNNING IN A TIMELY MANNOR" I was thankful that they were out working as quickly and as hard as they could to restore power to as many people as they possibly could.

I then gave thanks for not having little ones to worry about in such a time as this. And for MY big sister who when she heard about my circumstances told me to pack my bag and head over to her place.

You see the "Temptation I had to fight against"  was the temptation to stay in that place of self pity. I had to fight against the "poor me's" I had to stop for a minute regroup and get out from beneath myself, so-to -speak. I needed to step outside of my own personal circumstances and take a drive around my community that had been ravaged by the storm to realize...my circumstances really weren't THAT bad. And like ANY temptation whether it's Drugs, Alcohol, Self Pity, Drama...whatever it is God WILL provide a way out of it. But its up to us to realize or recognize that the way we are dealing with these things isn't quite working for us, so we had better try another way.

Last week I witnessed 3 different people working through their own recovery issues. And every single one of them stated as I just did..."I needed to take a minute to reassess what I'm doing and figure out why it isn't helping me or working for me.

What's going on in your life at this very moment that isn't "quite working for you" what event are you reliving over and over again in your head that is preventing you from moving forward in your life? What is holding you back from surrendering your own will over to God? Perhaps it's just the fear of the unknown. Why not just this once give God the opportunity to do the sorting for you? You never know, it may be the very thing you need in order to move on.

The Lord is Gracious and Compassionate.

I can't believe it's been...4 YEARS since my last posting.

Wow, where to start. I am still with the same organization Union Gospel Mission :)
Relationships with clients have come and gone . But most have grown deeper. I have been here for the past 7 years and haven't had 2 days the same! I guess that's to be expected when you work with brokenness. I honestly don't know whose taught who the most. Me or them. Perhaps a lot of both ;)

I have witnessed a lot over the past 7 years. Lives changed, lives shattered , lives wasted and lives expired.
Through it all I have been open to listening to God directing and teaching me how to walk through it all. I have fallen in love with the people who come through the doors here. There are days when my heart is just simply broken for the broken. And some days when I just want to shake people and tell them to get their lives together!!! Those are the days I go for a walk around the block. For it wasn't that long ago that my life and my attitude was that of destitute. I was just as broken, lost , confused and pissed off at God as some of our folks. This is when the grace of God comes in reeeeeaaaaaally handy. I have been able to turn those hurts into some pretty good messages though. Its my way of telling Satan that he can stuff it! My God is a big God!!!

I am going to keep this short because I believe by doing so I will be more inclined to add to this blog of mine on a weekly, if not daily basis.


Until then remember this....Our God is gracious and compassionate. Slow to anger, and quick to love!!

Blessings,
Andrea

The Lord really does work in mysterious ways...

it's been 3 years since i have posted anything on this blogg!! mainly because i have tried to log on and have not been able too. suddenly this page...just popped up.
i am still working at the mission. i love it more today then when i first started. the lord has blessed my socks off. our ministry is thriving. saddly we have lost many more, but the number of those we have and do help out weighs the loss by abundantly.
we have had a change of staff and direction on how we are reaching out to those in need.
i believe that we are getting more and more inline with what God is calling us to do here at the mission. these days we spend more time in laughter than tears. we share in more triumphs than let downs. as my relationship with God deepens my abilitiy to minister to the needs of others increases substantialy. i am still maddly and passionatley in love with what i am called to do and there are days...pretty much everyday i sit back in awe that the lord called me to do his work here. he didn't have to, he doesn't need me but he has chosen me. i am a very lucky person and i know it.

blessings to all of you,
xoxo andrea

In our lives we will be given many different opportunities.
These opportunities are given to us in order to help develope and change into the person that God has created us to be. These opportunities will come in many different shapes and forms. Some of them will bring us joy many will bring us happiness and some will even bring us heartache. I have recently been given an opportunity that has brought all three. What I am learning even as I type this is that you can actually feel joy and sorrow at the same time.
Today at 1:30pm I heard news that one of my friends (who was also a client where I work) was murdered. His name was Don, he lived on the streets of New Westminster/Surrey here in British Columbia. Don had gotten himself into trouble many times over the past few years and always managed to get by. He had spent 16 years in prison. I never did ask why. Mostly because it didn't matter to me. But this last time was indeed...his last time. You see for one reason or another Don decided to steal from some very very bad people. The kind of people that when you steal from them they will kill you or whomever you are close to. But someone will pay and this time it was Don.
I am not condoning the fact that Don was indeed a criminal himself. However it still doesn't make it any easier when someone you care for and have grown to know has been brutally murdered. You see Don was an addict his choice of poison was pills. That's where the people who murdered him messed up. You see they tried to make his death look like a suicide...but Don was a seasoned addict and did not shoot up. However that's how they left him with the rig around his arm and the needle still hanging in it. There is so much more to this story then I can go into detail about or even want to. However instead of focussing on all the evil that has taken place I am going to talk about Don my friend.
I spent many hours talking/praying with and for Don. I even got to watch him go off to Rehab once. He told me I was his inspiration and I remember he and I standing there and crying together. God placed Don on my heart as a real burden and I spent hours praying for him to make it through rehab only to have him walk through the doors at the mission a few weeks later but I didn't care I welcomed him back and we had a coffee together and I did my best to encourage him to keep trying.
It did not take long for him to fall into old patterns, but I kept on praying for him and loving him. Beacause I knew that God loved him and that he was brought into my life for a special purpose.
I always looked forward to seeing Don and giving him a hug goodmorning and talking with him. He was always kind to me and had a real speacial place in my heart.
The last words Don spoke to me where about Jesus. He told me that he wanted to get a Tattoo with Jesus' name over his heart. I joked with him saying "Don, that's great! But accepting him into your heart is an even better idea." He just looked at me smiled and said "I know." I could sit an dwell on the fact that my friend was murdered by members of the Hells Angels. Or I could glorify God by sharing with you all of the wonderful things God has shown me through this. By the way I just found out about Don's murder two hours ago so this is me processing the whole thing.
God has shown me that it is better to take chances with your heart then to just let it go to waste. I believe that I was able to show Gods grace, love, compassion and kindness to Don. There were days when not one other person wanted to even sit with him. But God chose me to breakthrough to him in those moments when he was shut off to the rest of the world. He shared his hopes and dreams with me and I sat and listened and felt to honoured that he did so. We shared some laughs and some tears. God had chose me to work with Don when others had given up on him. I will admit at first I wasn't sure I know what I was doing and then I was remeinded that being me was enough. Cause that's all it took. Just being a friend to a man who has had a lifetime of torment and turmoil. God also allowed me to open up my heart to another human being who taught me many things as well. He taught me patience, obedience and how to sit comfortably in silence with another human being. There were also many times when Don and I would not even speak a word to each other I would just sit accross from him and have a coffee. There were times when he would be coming down from a binge and I would just simply sit beside him and pray over him while rubbing his back. Don taught me how to truly and unconditionally love another human being.
I am going to d my best to put aside the evil that has been done and focus on the really great things that came from my relationship with my friend Don...a friendship that God hand picked himself. God works for the good of all those who love him... and I love God with every fiber of my being and I believe that Don loved him too. Justice will be done of that I am confidant.
God Bless you all and I encourage you to make good choices in your life.
xox andrea

I just finished reading a few posts on my own blog and realized...I REALLY LOVE GOD PEOPLE!!!
I just finished an email to a friend. We have been in contact with each other over the past year and God has really placed him as a burden upon my heart. (for those of you who don't understand what that means its simply this... at times during my day or even in the middle of the night I will wake up and feel the need or desire to pray for my friend) he is constantly on my mind these days. So I asked what it is that God feels I should should be praying for. I soon found out. I felt that I should sit down and write him an email so I did just that. But I was still a little confused as to what I should say in that email. Then it came to me I need to tell him about God! Plain and simple. And then I did what any good Christian would do...I PANICKED!!! Then I went into prayer and prayed that God reveal to me what the heck I should say and how to say it without sounding like a pushy Christian bible thumping freak!!!! He did and once I calmed down I sat down at the computer and began my 2 hour journey of writing the "email". I wont go into detail about what it said...cause its kind of between me, him and God...and my pastor who I had read it before I sent it to him cause I needed a little encouragement. OH WHAT LIKE YOU WOULD'NT!!! WHATEVER!!!
I discovered two really important things while writing this email. First of all I hope that in your lives each and everyone of you has to write this sort of letter. Its probably the hardest thing I have done in a looooong time. I needed to write it in a way that was not at all pushy or offensive and yet it had to be bold enough to get my point accross. What point is that pretell??? That God is real and that he loves us even in our most unloveable and undesireable times. No matter how hard times get we are NOT alone. God left a huge gap in our hearts that can only be filled by him and that being in bondage is not normal. My friend lost his wife to cancer last Christmas and has fallen into some of his old patterns and although he "thinks" he is coping well and dealing with his issues he is not. And its simply because he does not know Jesus therefore he is trying to do this on his own or with the help of other Non-Christians which is great in one way cause he is reaching out but God is the only one who can take away our pain and suffering. He is the one and true healer. Who not only works on healing the surface stuff but all that junk that is lingering deep down below. No Jesus... No chance at healing completely. I actually just saw a bumper sticker that said this> No Jesus... No Heaven...Know Jesus... Know Heaven.
I was also reminded that I really had nothing to be scared of since it was God who had called upon me to write this email anyways. I love knowing that he is here with me at all times. Walking me through my crazyness :) and believe me there is a lot of it at times hee hee.
The second thing I feel I learned is that I want to take more opportunities to step out in the boldness of God. It really put me to the test! Did I really believe all that is written in the bible? Do I really trust God and all that he has done for me? Do I really believe that he is calling all of us to know his love and share in his grace and compassion for us? Am I the kind of Christian I keep saying that I am? To put all of your minds at ease the answers to all of these are YES!!! How all of this came about is this...I was at work today thinking about the past year and how it has just flown by. And then I began to think about my AA/NA birthday which is today DECEMBER 31st 12am. I have been clean and sober for 11 years tonight. Then I was sharing with one of my clients that I could not have done this on my own. I am here today because God had mercy on me and showed me the grace and compassion that only he is able to do. I believe that God saved my life first and formost because he loves me deeply. But also so that I could share my journey with others and help them to see the love he also has for them. My life this precious precious gift must not be wasted. Not any of it. So if God is calling me to place my comfort zone aside and walk on the un-paved path the one that is messy, dirty and hard to walk along then that is exactly what I am going to do.
I have no idea how my relationship with my friend will turn out but I do know this...that God is not a God who would have me jeopordize my relationship with this friend for nothing. God knows the desires of my heart because he has placed them there. And my deepest desire is that all who do not know God come to know him and love him as deeply and passionatly as I do. I have never felt anything this powerful in my life it is wonderful and overwhelming all at the same time and it would truly be a shame to want to keep it to myself.
I am humbled by the opportunity to speak the truth about God into my friends life...a little scared too I ain't gonna lie. But if I didn't do it who would have?

May Gods blessings be evident in and throughout your lives.
God Bless all of those I know and love and all of those I have yet to meet and love.
In his most precious and beautiful name Amen.

xox andrea

It is written...
My Child...
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me...John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love...1John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you...1John 3:1
Every good gift you receive comes from my hand...James 1:17
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope...Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love...Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore...Psalm 139:17-18.
And i rejoice over you with singing...Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you... Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession...Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul...Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things...Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me...Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart...Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires...Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine...Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager...2Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles...2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you...Psalm 34:18
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes...Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus...John 17:23
For in Jesus, much love for you is revealed...John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being...Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you...Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins...2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled...2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you...1 John 2:23
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love...Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me...1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again...Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen...Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father...Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is...Will you be my child?...John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you...Luke 15:11-32
Love, Your Dad. Almighty God.

This letter changed my complete outlook on how God feels about me.
He sought me out and kept on seeking me out until I finally understood why he was so persistent. He loves me. And he loves all of you. I wish I could put into words how I feel when I think about the love that I feel when I think of all that God has done for me in the past 4 years. But I can't. Its overwhelming for me to think about how much God loves me. For the first time in my life I feel valuable, treasured and precious. I feel worthy of the good things that I have in my life because I understand that this is exactly the way God intended my life to be. Full of all the good, joyous and wonderful things that life has to offer. Some may look at my life and see it as boring but I see it as anything but. Because with Jesus in my life I have everything I need and so much more.

God Bless you all,
xoxo andrea